What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
