last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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