Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
