I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
