Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
