Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
