If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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