Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
