i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
