It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
