it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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