he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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