New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
