and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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