so explain again why im purple
no
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize