belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
