I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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