Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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