at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
