Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
