ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
