she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
