If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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