I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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