I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
