Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
