I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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