I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
