why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
