That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
