Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
