I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
