i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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