DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
