I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
