Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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