exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize