Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
