I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize