So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
