Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
