and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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