whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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