Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
