so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize