so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
