Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
