I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
