Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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