Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
