He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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