and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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