How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh god the rape fog is back!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize