I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have aggressive nipples.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
