I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
