I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
