just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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