In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
