I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
