You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
