Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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