Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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