Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
