I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
