I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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